Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Is your man "Machista"???

So you ask, well what is that?  There is a term in spanish "Machismo" that (for me) is kind of the same as chauvenisti
So, when "The Mexican" and I first met, i had NEVER seen this side of him.  After we got married, he let it slip out!

1st incident:  my smoking... Everyday, this is what i had to look forward to....(in his cute spanish accent, but at the time it was not too cute to me) "Oh my gawd! you are still smoking???  you are going to die from dis! Your hair huele (smells) like smoke! (here comes the kicker) YOU ARE GOING TO STOP!  I will throw away all your cigarillos (cigarettes).  

Yes, I know smoking is bad and that I should NOT have been doing it.  Bad habits are hard to break and when you have someone TELLING you what you ARE GOING TO DO....... you refuse...you rebel....or at least I did.
One morning as I left for work, I opened my box, and they were all broken!!!  FURIOUSLY I called him.  "WTH!  Why'd you do that!"  He answered, "I told you I will break dim all!  You want to die?"  

AGGGH!  I hung up the phone pulled into the gas station, bought another pack, divided it into the old box and the new one.  Hid the new one in one spot and the old one in a different spot, so that way i was covered if one was discovered.
Hopefully I can gain back the years of my life I wasted smoking.....  My son is the inspiration for quitting not a nagging man.  (yes, men, you nag as well, although i doubt you'll admit it!)

Needless to say I will be smoke free 1yr April the 4th! YAY ME! and I DID IT!  His telling me what I was and was not going to do, had no effect on me what so ever and I made sure he knew of this.

2nd incident:  I work..... and I work hard.  I come home and I cook.  I'm not talking about a microwave dinner, i'm talking dinner from scratch!  So, over the week our apartment (at the time) would get dis-orderly... He expected me to pick all the crap up too? I would argue with him, how he had 2 hands and could pick up as well.   He worked, I worked, I cooked, I cleaned, ok.....something looks one sided.  NO WAY JOSE!  I'll never forget the comment he once made "latina women would never let the house get this unorganized"  Well, my response to that was, "well then go marry one! You married me and this is who I am!  Either take it or leave it!"

My friend from Colombia and I had many many discussions about men being machista! Our boss, our husbands, our friend's husbands..... My friend, explained machismo to me very well.  We compared stories.  I learned a lot!

Over a period of time I noticed "The Mexican" had become to expect me to do more of the "traditional feminine things" like cook! I seemed to be the only one cooking.  Cleaning, I was the only one doing that. Laundry, am i the only one wearing clothes???   I confronted him.  I told him, "sabes que, you are machista!"
You would have thought I just cursed him out in spanish.  Oh, he was sooooo offended!  I do not know if he had never thought about it or what...  He refused to believe it.  From that point on,  I was on a mission to prove my point!

Each moment of each day for about 3 weeks, I kept a notebook.  Each time he said anything remotely machista to me, I WROTE IT DOWN!  After about a 3 week period of note taking.  I pulled out my notebook, and wrote each comment on a yellow sticky note!  There was probably 30+ yellow sticky notes.  I went outside when he was asleep and stuck all the sticky notes all over the interior of his truck!  On the steering wheel, on the windows, seats, dashboard...... it looked like a sticky note tornado had taken place. 

The Mexican always left the house about 30 minutes after I left.  I rode to work that morning imagining his face to the sticky note massacre that had taken place inside his truck.  I was waiting for his call..........  And guess what!  He never called.  Was, he mad?  Was, he thinking??  I was preparing my self for the worst...

When I got home that afternoon I started cooking.  He came home, came into the kitchen, gave me a giant hug and said, "I'm sorry!"  I was in a little bit of shock.  He proceeded to explain how he is not machista and was going to be helping me more.  

We still have our "moments" but I give him kudos because, he takes care of our family, takes care of our son, and will cook, clean, do laundry, among other tasks if need be.  Not saying he volunteers..... but things are a lot better and more equally divided or should i say shared between us.

I feel like I need to make another point as well.  It not only Mexicans that can be machista!  It's ALL MEN!  That includes Colombianos, Peruanos, Argentinos, Americanos..........ALL MEN can be, but the BEST MEN choose to not be!

Love and kisses!


  1. As far as the comments about Latina women...super shady...he didn't have to go there, but so glad you set him straight! ;) Very cute post! And what a creative idea with the post-its! Have you heard of the counter to the "machista"? El mandilón? I think a great hubby should have a balance between the two...lol. =)

  2. This is cracking me up! and that is why I married a white guy... I like wearing the pantalones in my house thank you very much! :P

  3. Chantilly, yeh, i didn't appreciate the comment about Las Latinas tambien.... No need to worry though....you can ALWAYS count on ME to set him straight =) Do you know I have never heard of El Madilon pero ya se!! Gracias!

    All in all, he is a great husband and the machista tendencies have dwindled down to practically nothing. We've been together over 10 years and we're at a place where we can work out a solution to any problem in our marriage. When he's doing something i don't like, we'll talk and fix it, and vice versa.

    You are so right about their being a good balance between the two!

    Thanks for your post!

  4. Rockin' Momma,
    Glad i had you laughing! I like wearing los pantalones en mi casa tambien, pero i let him wear them sometimes too.... on certain issues for good measure or to have a good balance.... but for the most part, i think ALL MOMS wear los pantalones! Thanks for posting!!!! (i know there are some machista white guys, sounds like you got one of the good ones... *wink wink*)


  5. its hard to deal with men like that and more because they are brought up in a home where that is perfectly normal so when they get married or go live with a girl they think they can do as they did with their mothers but im glad u could get your point across and in a creative way:)

  6. I'm a Mexicana married to a gringo. Let me tell you... the chores are still lopsided. He insists he's not machista. He insists he's just a slob.
    Maybe the difference is that my gringo doesn't *expect* me to do it all for him. But someone has to do it and that someone ends up being me.
    (Sorry, but I'm going to have to post this one anonymously!)